Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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