Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
