my mouth tastes like poor choices
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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