We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
