He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
