Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
