Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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