I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
