So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
