I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize