you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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