i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
