I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
