Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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