Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I think I sprained my soul last night
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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