Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Bring me that man meat
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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