he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
