plz talk dirty to me
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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