yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
