I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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