All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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