And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
