I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
