That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
