I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
