I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't think brook has ever known best
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The best revenge is premature balding
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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