At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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