They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
