dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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