It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
