Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
