So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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