Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize