He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
