Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I didn't notice because vodka
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
