Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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