you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
