i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
