Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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