I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
