dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
