TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
