Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
