you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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