so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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