Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Randomize
