Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
