i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
