took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
