Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
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