on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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