She's JV to your varsity
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
