You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
