Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
